Sunday, 18 October 2009

Junk Mail

One of the great things about living in the future is the fact that we have witnessed and taken part in the communications revolution. Right now I am sitting in a towel writing a post which will be read by fully threes of people. There's something I couldn't have done 20 years ago: inflict my poorly judged opinions on 1/1000000000th of the Planet Earth's population.
Still, the best thing about these magical technologies is the junk mail. In the past week alone I have been propositioned by 14 presumably attractive girls, who, despite having never met me are fully prepared to engage in congress of the most base type. I think it's the Lynx effect.
I understand, though that some people don't feel the same way as me, and for those unenlightened few I offer a solution. An enterprising soul has created a series of pictures showing the denizens of officeland how to regress to their primitive selves by tossing photocopiers out of windows and forming hunter-gatherer societies, armed only with staplers. All you have to do is print them out, send them back to the junk-mailing companies in those pre-paid envelopes, and wait with bated breath for the newspaper story telling of the Reader's Digest office's slow descent into a happier, more stone-agey, time.

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