Sunday, 1 November 2009

Time Travel Tips II: The Boom-Stick Option

"I know! I'll get together a small arsenal of modern day weaponry and fight my way to the peak of the pyramid those savages were pleased to call a society."

In the timeless classic movie Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness, the tragic antihero Ash is transported back in time to face the forces of darkness in an Arthurian setting. He has with him a chainsaw, attached to his arm where his hand once was, and a shotgun, not attached to anything. Using his "boom-stick" he saves the day and gets the girl. Great idea, huh?

If you read yesterday's post, you'll probably know that the answer is "No, Nick. That's not a great idea, it's a terrible idea, but please explain why." I'm glad you asked! Sure it would be fun to head back in time with automatic weaponry, explode a few peasant heads, and generally act like someone with all the powers of life and death. But even you have to sleep sometime. Once the peasants work out that you're really only pressing a bit of metal, and it's not really a genuine, divine, will-of-god style power, one of them will sneak into your sumptuous palace decorated with the best that the peasants have to offer (extra-large turnips, and wall-hangings of only the really good sackcloth), and off you. Still, it was fun while it lasted, right?


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